Quickie

1:41 am

Just about to sleep, thought I’d say hey.

Had plans to go out for a datenight today but my stupid allergies didn’t let me 😦 now it’s getting to my head. I’m not able to live my life!

One good thing happened though..we booked our Pahalgam hotel. ❤️ Waiting for the magical time.

The countdown is on..oh and so is my workout chart on the fridge. I just pray my health stays fine and I can find the strength to workout.

Good night, it’s already pretty late.

Ps : it’s getting cold 🙂

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The thing about art is..

When it comes to art.. neither can you take the criticism to heart, nor the praise to the head. Every human has an individual eye, and a distinct understanding of emotions and everybody reacts to a piece of information – visual or audio, in their own way, based on their own experiences in life and how they have dealt with their own sets of ups and downs. It’s not so simple. We all have the same organs but no two hearts go through the exact same situations in life. So, how people look at .. say a painting, or how someone hears a song..how a particular film touches a soul so much, or how a dance performance brings tears to one’s eyes.. it’s not often that a large group of people would react to a piece of art in the same way. So, if you are an artist and you faced criticism for your labor of love, don’t take it to heart. It’s just a perception of that individual. For me, art is not to be judged or rated. I would just feel it.. and let it touch my soul, or pass me by.

Warning: Sad post.

I got lucky. The other day I met both my grandmothers under the same roof. How often does it happen for a person in denial about her own mid life crisis to be surrounded by the love and affection of both naani and daadi? Not often. Things like these make you feel immensely grateful in life. The husbands of both these women (my loving grandfathers) are not alive, at least not physically. No one you love really dies till you yourself perish. It’s just that you cannot touch them anymore, can’t hear their voice, the companion of years is suddenly not there anymore to love and fight with. That one person who was the center of your life is not around anymore and you have no body to be concerned about.. at least not as concerned about. I cannot imagine the emptiness and void they, and everyone who loses the spouse feels. I don’t even want to think about it. When I pray, I pray for the long, happy, healthy lives of everyone I love and that I go before they do. I don’t think I could ever deal with a pain that deep, that massive.

How do people do it? People do it! And people miraculously move on as well. But some die of the heartbreak too. Animals do too. It’s all very sad and I don’t know why this post, that started with gratitude has taken this morbid tone. But that is what is inside this head right now, so that is what is out on the paper.. err, screen actually.

I should go and make tortillas, there is no Alexa to prepare my dinner tonight. I will try not to talk about death now onwards. What is the point really?

Ignore the smog, picture the snow.

Sometimes, all you want to do is pack your bags and leave. Go somewhere “peaceful”, “away”, “far from people”, “away from social media”, “just me and myself”, “just the two of us”. etc. I am kind of in that space right now. I wish we could just go somewhere tonight, even if for just two days. But some place beautiful. I have a feeling every Delhiite is going through this – all of us are living in a gas chamber and the moment you look outside from your balconies; you feel this sense of helplessness. Is there no escape? Why do we have to deal with this year after year? November used to be the most pleasant and beautiful months at one point of time, actually not even that long ago. just 6-7 years ago, I think.

Anyway, I have Kashmir to visit in December. That is going to be a beautiful experience, must think just about that and ignore this smoggy evening; evening after evening. This reminds me, I need to zero in on the properties and make a proper plan of action. Me and my husband, we are not “travellers”, and we are not at all good at making a planned trip! But this time, we are going out of the city after what seems like ages, literally. And I do not want it unplanned this time. Right now, I need to feel sorted and only solid plans help you feel more confident. So Srinagar, Pahalgam and a night in the houseboat. I don’t know how cold it is going to be, it is going to be snowing for sure because it is the end of December. It’s going to be a white Christmas for us, our 5th wedding anniversary. ❤