It’s warmer in my heart.

It’s 2020. February in Delhi, still cold. Not very cold. Definitely warmer in my heart…I am falling in love again. I am holding on to happy memories, effectively getting rid of the unpleasant ones. We all have those. I am closer to myself. Happier. At peace. Content…yet a bit restless. The healthy restless.

It’s when you feel satisfied doing things you once thought you would never want to do, you feel you are growing up, for the better.

I am in a new space. Somewhere I always wanted to be. “By Myself” – alone, not lonely. Never been lonely. I have my love, my friends, my family – when I need them and when they need me. I try. I want to be there. I wanted to WANT to be there… and now I do. I don’t have to scream, “Leave me alone!” anymore and that is such a blessing. Underrated. Crucial.

Settling down. Cooking a lot! Learning to be on our own, me and my love, sending him naughty notes with his lunch, waiting for him to return in the evening after having spent the day with myself and my thoughts – not-so-disturbing-anymore. Finally, I look forward to seeing him like a love sick puppy.. the way I used to, when we met each other before we got married. It’s been more than 2 years that we got married but it’s only now that I feel it. Happily married.

And now, I got to pick up things and pieces of me that got lost somewhere in the throes of depression. I have a few things to fix and I am sure I will be successful in the resurrection of the Diva.

I have got what it takes and I have never been more sure.

The picture that reminds me that I am a phoenix who rose from the ashes and kicked some ass.

shot by Sonal in 2015.


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