I was reading an article in the supplement today. It was about how couples are actually getting married on the 14th of February – you know, “Valentine’s Day” .. *you may imagine an over dramatic eyeroll at this point*.
Like, d e l i b e r a t e l y.
People… people… people. First of all, yes I am judging. Secondly, how intolerably cute are you guys? V day themes, V day menu, V day attires, V day Orgasm. Now, no I am no Shiv SainiK, I am not anti “love” or PDA or too much mush. And there is nothing wrong in wanting to get married on this “day of love”. It’s just…..I don’t know. *cringe*
So yes, I don’t subscribe to it. Neither do I say everyday is a day of love. No, I have asked my husband for a divorce a hundred times, but then, there are times I tell him, “I love you” in the middle of our morning tea too. He knows me and my tantrums. He sends me random “I love yous” in the middle of a work day too. And there are moments we just do not get along. Like, opposites. Conjoined opposites.
I am married since more than 2 years now and it’s only now that it’s starting to make some sense to me. It’s a love hate relationship with my best friend that I cannot live without.
But we have never celebrated this day of love that falls on the 14th of February every year and gives anxiety to many singles (and committed folks too!) out there. This pressure, this expectation, this “kuch toh karenge” factor – like the bloody new year’s eve.
My idea of romance is not wearing red on the Valentine’s day and going out with him. Why would you do that on a workday anyway, it’s falling on a Friday this time, but it would fall on a Monday too right. You get the point. I mean, imagine both of you shit tired after a long day..you finally get time to catch up in the evening. All you want to do is sit somewhere cozy (it’s still cold in Delhi, ugh) and have a soup (Yes I am getting old) or a Gin. Ideally, the place would be Home for me. I don’t want to go out after a long day, I want to chill. At most, we will order in or I will cook something different than the regular mundane (read: boring) stuff.
My idea of romance is different. It’s in simple things. Like, we mostly hold hands while walking together, it’s like a reflex. It’s in building our home together. Like yesterday I let him select the curtains for our room (trust me, it’s a big deal for me to let someone decide when it comes to decor of my space :p). I leave sweet notes (read: naughty) for him in his lunch box so that he reads in the afternoon and gets an idea of what’s coming in the night.. (pun intended) , it’s in making a lil effort for each other – wearing a certain dress he likes a little more than the others, keeping your hair as he/she likes (sometimes!), not getting your beard shaved because she won’t sleep with a clean shaven guy .. haha, letting her touch your face / tummy with freezing hands hahah (ok, I am a devil) , cooking for him – oh the joy! (an angel too)
What I am trying to say here is, romance is deeper, it’s that silver lining on an ordinary day. It’s not something you do for social media, it’s something you do because you love this person so much and you want to express it – for him. Not to brag or post on your Insta. “See, I took her to this fancy fine dining joint in the better side of the town”, “This is my Valentine’s look”, “He got me this!!” *Imagine a room full of flowers, chocolates and …..*Vomit* TEDDY BEARS *Vomit*
Could you respect each other everyday of the year and be there for them in their good and bad days instead? Oops, almost getting preachy there.
Okay, just cuddle and make some good love this Valentine’s day, alright.
We are going to get a lil drunk.