17th August 2020

Hi,

Wait, let me play some music first.

Ok. What did I play? Lovers in Paris by Jacob Gurevitch. I really don’t know about the artist, this is the only track I keep playing, constantly. Maybe I should look up and find some more tunes, this one’s pretty nice.

Oh the sky is orange. It’s 6:40 pm. The sun is peaking out and hiding just as before it retires for the day. THIS, is my favorite hour….these days.

I actually have quite a few these days. Like, the moment I wake up…. nudge him. And when he brings me our morning tea with his cute face. Well, half his face is covered with his beard, but I like it this way. I just remembered the day during the lockdown when he shaved it off completely ( on my insistence ) and I cried for two three days.

I love cooking now.. made baingan ka bharta in the noon and rajma just now. When I took the first bite at lunch today, I felt as if I had earned it and I had. It was a damn good feeling…

So, it seems I have finally settled in with this routine. I know it’s going to change to what it was in February 2020 too. And there will again be a lil re-adjusting to do. Though I feel it won’t be hard now. The world is adjusting to hell, I can adjust to a little change in waking up hours!!

I remember I was not in a very good place when I wrote my last blog. I am better. I have not been to a specialist yet but I am sort of recuperating on my own at the moment. I am good. Not just saying 🙂

Though I miss this part of me… the vivacious, the vibrant, the mad. I have turned mellow, low-key, subdued. He says it will pass and I will be back. I want to believe him.

“Don’t speak unless you can improve the silence.”

That has become me. There have been a lot of unfortunate times when I have spoken shit, specially to someone I love and I have regretted. I just don’t want to do that anymore. I am aware of the unpredictability of life. All I want to be, all I ought to be is GRATEFUL.

So being it.

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