Controlled.

The day started with a smile, mine. Then I saw him and the smile widened with a *thank you God* in my heart, thankfully the milk did not go sour and I got my morning tea! Kadak. He makes it perfectly.. and lucky ass that I am, I have been getting it in bed everyday since Lockdown 1.0. Glad we are slowly unlocking but the tea-romance continues. I am spoilt and how. Well, I can’t be blamed if all the people in my life have pampered me silly. Yes, I am grateful.

Ghulam Ali serenaded while I tossed and turned our Omlettes. Yesterday it was Govinda and Karisma Kapoor’s classics. Yeah my song choices are multifarious. It all depends on my mood, everything depends on my mood, which is controlled by this tiny thing called Nexito 5. It’s been prescribed – a relief. I needed to feel sane. I do feel sane. I think my husband is happier too. I am funnier, more welcoming, not irritable. I danced the other day for 30 minutes straight, by myself, in my beautiful home. Took me back to my childhood when it was a regular feature. Me + locked room + dance. I don’t know when it turned into me + locked room + depression. Anyway, shit happens and such are times. We all are dealing with it in our own way. Everyday is an opportunity.

My mind is a pleasant space, my heart is not crying. It’s easier to breathe. My body is moving to a special beat, that only my heart understands.

It makes him smile, I am good.

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