Dil e nadan tujhe hua kya hai? Aakhir is dard ki wajah kya hai?

My keyboard is being kissed by the sun and my fingers are dancing on the keys. Happy hands. Cold/warm hands. Cold/warm heart.

ya ilaahi ye maajra kya hai?

I saw a strange dream this morning. I was taken back to the time when I did not have the kind of love I have today. In my dream, I was taken back to the time when I was slapped with the reality – you are on your own. The world was cruel, the so-called closest people were ruthless – in words and actions.

He was not there. How could he be?

I woke up, back into the dreamworld – my world of love. The world where every inch of my soul and body are adored by this man. Straight from the heaven. But there was a time when he was not there and I was dealing with things as painful as “silent treatment” and looks of disappointment, disdain and helplessness.

Was that my karma or is this my karma? Whatever it is – I have seen a bit of both hell and heaven in this lifetime. So far. The thought of feeling that hell is terrifying. Do we really move on?

Sometimes, it all comes back as if it all happened yesterday. As if I am still there, almost. Or I was just rescued and there has not been a considerable gap of time.

No I don’t want to think about it. I will live in my dreamworld, forever.


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