Will I ?

Of course there’s a block. When there’s so much inside yet I’m unable to put things out here.

I feel wronged and grateful at the same time. I feel loved and ignored. I feel wanted and like I don’t exist at the same time.

Friends, lovers, family, haters. There are times you can’t make out who’s who. Who’s yours and who isn’t. Who’s concerned and who’s curious.

I am clueless, as of now. Going with the gut, yet again, dodging the daggers.

7:12 pm

Sort of lonely,

Dm.

7:12 pm

….

Nope. The smile is just missing in action today. I remember laughing just last night. He does that..he’s funny. Without saying anything, he makes me laugh. It’s just how he looks at me, how he stays quiet anticipating a laugh. And it happens. No matter how angry I am, it happens. It’s a problem actually because there are times when you need to be super serious to get your point across….but, I end up laughing.

Will it happen tonight as well? Will I laugh? Because I haven’t smiled at all today.

7:25 pm