More importantly, what’s up with the heart?

humsafar raat ke ho, ya subah ki chai ke saathi… bohot qareeb hote hai.

I am listening to “Sing” by Travis. I keep coming back to this one.. the kind of song I can sing (however horribly but yet..).

What’s on my mind today? Oh God… there’s never just one thing that is on my mind. There’s so much, all at once, that it gets a bit much for my heart. My poor achy, breaky heart. I have been hearing it beat…like, you know, the dhak dhak. I feel it louder than usual these days. What is it? Too many people just collapsing these days, I won’t lie if I say I am NOT panicking. Well, I am almost panicking. I am almost hyper anxious. Today, I was in bed all day. It’s 6:51 pm now, this morning I did not think I would make it till the evening. But here I am, listening to and singing along with Travis. For a significant second, it feels so good. And then I plummet and it’s all pretty bleak.

I think I will see a doctor. Soon… ( I avoid. )

I don’t want my life to be about syringes and tablets and deficiencies. I want my life to be about beautiful beaches, inebriated sunsets and naked sunrises. To be somewhere only we know.

Have I dared to dream? Have you dared to wonder what if it all comes true. Can you jump in? Can you make yourself feel all that again?


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